<![CDATA[Marisa Rules - Marisa's blog]]>Thu, 02 Dec 2010 21:14:27 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[How to Get your College to Pay for Alcohol]]>Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:51:43 -0800http://www.marisarules.com/1/post/2010/03/how-to-get-your-college-to-pay-for-alcohol.html1) Start a club that the college will give lots of money to, ie. anything to do with diversity. For example, the Interracial Poets Society or the  Neurobiologists for Multiracial Awareness Club.

2) Create a fake budget of posters, food, party decorations, sodas, fake flowers, paper weights. Stay within the norm, don't go renting out a music hall and expect them to pay you $20,000.

3) Buy these things. Get the receipts. Return them, but make sure you still have receipts.

4) Submit receipts to college for reimbursement.

5) Get reimbursed and use the money to buy booze.

Now despite your best efforts from preventing students from knowing that your club exists, people will find it and join and  expect you to be interested in their poetry about multiracial issues. When this happens, quit. Start a new club about gender issues.
]]><![CDATA[Community Property]]>Fri, 19 Mar 2010 10:04:44 -0800http://www.marisarules.com/1/post/2010/03/community-property.htmlAnything on campus is community property. And it is possible to almost entirely survive on campus supplies. You just need to know how to properly use these ...
provisions. Toilet paper can be used for napkins, scratch-paper, and kleenex. Hand soap can be used for body-wash, shampoo, dishwashing soap, and birthday presents.  This is a no brainer, anything you can carry out of the cafeteria is yours for the taking. If you can walk out with the frozen yogurt dispenser, walk out with the frozen yogurt dispenser. The library may far and a way, be the most useful part of campus. Paper can be taken from the printer trays, they have staplers, paperclips, keyboards and monitors. If you need to decorate your room they usually have an abundance of wall art. And they also provide desk chairs that roll and couches.  So there you you have it, food toiletries, dorm furniture. The only thing campus does not supply is your daily alcohol regimen, On ways to get your school to pay for alcohol, tune in next week.
]]><![CDATA[Facebook Etiquette]]>Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:19:37 -0800http://www.marisarules.com/1/post/2010/03/facebook-etiquette.htmlI'm sick and tired of people lecturing me about facebook etiquette. It's not my fault your mom can see what I post on your wall.  I say shake things up. Try the... 
following status updates and see what happens: 
My room is on fire! 
My court appearance is today.  
My doctor says VD is curable! 
My roommate made-out with a girl last night. 

Change your status from 'in a relationship' to 'single' without clearing it with him first. See how he reacts.

Post nude photos, if they don't get censored complain to facebook.

There are, however, three rules that need to be followed:
Don't friend your mom.
Don't friend your mom's friends.
Don't complain to your friends about inappropriate postings. It's your fault you friended you mom.
]]><![CDATA[Pirates are Better Than Ninjas]]>Fri, 05 Mar 2010 10:26:49 -0800http://www.marisarules.com/1/post/2010/03/pirates-are-better-than-ninjas.htmlPirates are better than ninjas. They live by their own rules, not some snobby code of honor.They can kick ass when they're drunk. They don't have to shower. They...
have boats, parrots, and an immunity to motion sickness. They don't need a cause to start a fight. They pillage. They make people walk the plank. They have both hooks and swords. Ninjas only wear black. Pirates can wear whatever they want as long as it's dirty. You've never seen a ninja drink rum. There's no National Dress like a Ninja Day. There are many famous pirates such as Jack Sparrow, Captain Hook, Dread Captain something (ie. Wesley). Who are the famous ninjas? A bunch of turtles? Lame! Pirates are better than ninjas.

]]><![CDATA[How to Deal with Guys in Science Classes]]>Mon, 01 Feb 2010 13:02:59 -0800http://www.marisarules.com/1/post/2010/02/first-post.htmlBeing a science major exposes you to a lot of different types of people, including nerdy, dorky, socially awkward guys who don't know what a real date is. Rest ...
assured, being lab partners does not qualify as a date. Taking a break from studying and running into someone at the soda machine does not qualify as a date. So if you are a girl stuck in a major that is primarily made up of awkward guys, here are some tips:

  1. If you talk to them, they will think you like them.
  2. If you smile at them, they will think you like them.
  3. If you talk to them outside the classroom in a public place, they will think you are going out.
So what do you do come finals time when you have group projects and you absolutely have to interact with them?

  1. Do not ever meet them in their dorm room.
  2. Under no circumstances do you let them know where you live.
  3. End all conversations with, "This does not mean I like you." 
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